Apparently I Have an Issue...

The homie Kyra said "You always want the ones 10 years older than you and married"... This statement is not directly true but the sentiment is... I always find my self wanting things I can't have for whatever reason... Crazy age gaps, relationships, fear of rejection and them being way out of my league... I think I'm awesome but I know my limits and I oft swoon over the tippy-top of the social hierarchy out here... Also, this RA in my building that I've been eying for the past oh, 3 years, like the last white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie in the box... Upperclassmen with fiance's, dudes that graduated after my first year, nerdy poets 5 years older than me and ones a whole lot smarter than me... Now these are just surface crushes because I don't allow myself to get too close because home wrecking and embarrassing myself is not where it's at... But I be damned if mature, driven, intelligent, and attractive isn't... I miss the days when all you had to do was pass a love tap and say 'I like you' before you were holding hands and sipping quarter waters on a park bench... Or one good fight over a game of kickball, all smiles and youth and passion screaming over the position of the non-existent foul line that ended in an order of cheese fries from the chicken spot... Oh NY summers I MISS YOUUUUUU!!!!