About my Blog son

Okay, so I'm no professional blogger but, i think I'm pretty freaking interesting, sike. But for real I find cool shit on the interweb everyday now i can have it all in one place, right alongside the randomness that is my life... Be forewarned there will be an excessive amount of profanity at times, that's just how I feel


Maybe, Just Maybe....

I'll know for sure after the weekend


The phrase echo's in my heart often, though my mind will not dare let it pass my lips. Of that I am most certain, maybe someday soon emotion will trump logic. Until then, the battle rages within me. You're none the wiser.


Donald, I Love You too

And no, YOU are dope


Feliz CumpleaƱos...

I'm 21 today.


Stakes is high

Infatuation is a very tricky thing, too much too soon turns into obsession. Over an extended period it can turn into the L word... Still in the initial stages so I think it's cool sooooo not ready for the L word right now... I miss his face =[



First it was Tumblr, then my niece and nephew now it's school... I'll try to post more often, scouts honor

Something new I wrote last week, hope you enjoy it


There is a man
Marred just enough to remind you of his human
His scent is electric,
Like the third rail draped in flesh.
I am terrified to touch him,
Afraid that spark may jump ship and incinerate the dry wit I insulate myself with.
Tastes, of Sunday morning sunrise
Sweet inferno illuminates secrets seconds before I stow them in the ivory cavern of his mouth
A place, so stunning, words tend to linger a moment longer than they should,
trying in vain to commit the terrain to memory.
Conceiving a lisp, only noticed by those lost for hours in that pearl cage.
He is a man
Lower, upon which that face rests is a hollow, surrounded by hills.
Curves of neck, where I hide my fears.
Heart, whispers love notes
Only heard when pectorals become pillows,
Found my solace in his sinew
Downward more, Iron sculpted peaks and valleys
dusted in auburn mirror the brush of plains at dusk,
It feels of the earth here.
Jungle sprouts from it's southern edge
Out of which a lone oak rises, source of life for those who care to nurture it.
There are knees, that bend and move, sometimes shake when beads of sweat become lanterns in the moonlight, fall like firebombs setting skin ablaze.
Feet firmly rooted appear fused to the hardwood the same hue as hands
Known to bring tears, screams, laughter and sighs, without doing harm, in the course of a night
All parts accounted, none matter apart from the whole
He is a man


Hello there...

I caught feelings
which sucks because I'm moving halfway up the east coast
I really like him, hope he reads this =]


Game Time...

Let's go Bulls

I love Derrick Rose, but I just hate hearing him speak


This is vain...

I am loving the feeling of all my hair cascading over my shoulders and down my back when I take out my ponytail... A few more years of diligence and good practices and I'll be able to feel it without having to straighten my hair



School is basically over
I like this guy, a lot, he probably knows it already, but I would still like to say it to him
Summer will be split between Florida, North Carolina, Philadelphia and New York
School in the fall in NY for my masters program
Life is running full speed now and I'm trying to keep up
Wish me luck


Teach me how to do this


Words I Never Said...

One of my favorite tracks from the less than stellar Lasers

I really Love Lupe


I have been...

Neglecting the hell out of my blog
I haven't really had many important
things to say in the last few weeks.
Lo siento

I did have a good night this week,
might come back to bite me in the ass though



"Folded back into the cocoon of my hoodie, content to spend another night as a lonely fraction"
Joshua Bennett


A Perfect Day...

Have absolutely nothing important to do
wake up,
morning sex,
shower again,
make breakfast,
watch movies,
make lunch,
play Mortal Kombat,
lazy head session,
watch more movies,
sexy nap-time,
make dinner,
listen to violin music,
fall asleep on the couch.

I’m really not that complicated



I’m horny, immeasurably so… All I can think of is my second visit to His place… Scott Pilgrim, and back rubs into the wee hours… Spooning and other various cuddling arrangements… Strong hands leaving goosebumps in their wake… A rather surprising stiffy settled between my cheeks as he straddled my hips and stroked along my spine… Picking me up and carrying me around the living room… Then, on our way out, he pressed me into the wall, calm as he asks how I’m feeling, 1 arm twined around my waist the other braced against the wall… My hands drifting from his lower back to the sides of his neck as he continues to breathe heavily and steadily in my ear… I lost my reserve and proceeded to kiss and lick up each side of his neck before settling my lips against His… We continued to devour each other in the soft glow of the television before I realized I needed to go… That night was sealed with a tight embrace and consuming kiss… That was almost 2 months ago


When my nephew was 4, hours after watching the film, he proceeded to accurately explain the plot and relationships present in Beowulf
Love that kid


La Biblioteca...

Community actors and fans are AMAZING



I was being totally emo this morning lol... I just want to lick warm honey off of the neck of a hot guy, is that too much to ask for?... Then he can do this

My Heart's Been Broke For A While

I really want to cry right now... Stressed beyond reason about school, current and future, an emotional wreck and I feel like I'm going to implode if I can't release some of this pressure... I need to be able to turn my feelings off but someone came along and killed my emotionless-ness... I had almost gone a year and a half without concern for anyone's thoughts of me... Sir, either your an asshole outright or your playing some sort of game and you're secretly an asshole... I don't like not knowing if it's just me over thinking or some sick joke... WTF did I do to you? Sorry but it's driving me up the freaking wall... And school is becoming a major problem, I still get all of my work done but I'm just over the whole idea of it right now, and having the uncertainty of my future weighing on me is crippling... Why can't I get into a Doctoral program, find someone who actually likes me! and go on with my well adjusted life?
I seriously need to cry, like all out bawl uncontrollably, for a night... I can feel it building but I'm scared of what that crescendo is going to be like if it doesn't happen soon... I've been sequestered in my room with Chinese food, Nostalgia/Ultra and 21 since Friday... I've felt a tear or two every so often, earlier when American Wedding was playing I thought I was going to lose it but nothing happened... I'm getting rather concerned, I cry every few months as an emotional release because there is no one I can tell all of the shit that goes on in here... Now my emotional fatigue is manifesting as headaches and insomnia, I need a therapist and about 12 hours of sleep
If I drank, I'd be absolutely wrecked, tears mixed with whiskey



I was bored...





So bored... My mother is talking me into a coma about Grad School... I quit stressing about that shit after I sent in my last app... And I'm muy lonely... I swear the more I think I have guys figured out the weirder they seem to get... 4 Years of undergrad and no more than some chill time every so often with guys I didn't really like but awesome-o comes along and just falls off the face of the earth... Just gonna ride the semester out, veg on summer break and bury myself in my studies, come the fall, like I have been doing this entire time... Still kinda sad tho =]

Had this song stuck in my head all freaking day



"Just lookin' for some in-and-out, animal style" - Childish Gambino


Pet Peeve...

I DO NOT like being ignored... One of the quicker ways to find yourself on my shit list



This key chain is also a splitter for your headphone jack...

 Cop over @ Thinkgeek


Quick Bit...

Adele's Keyboardist #CanGetIt...

Every time I try to listen to something else I end up with my eyes welling, listening to Ms. Adkins



So happy for him, this young man is getting much deserved shine =]... This piece is amazing and the fashions are very nice


Get It Out...

Sitting at home in my bed on spring break listening to my recently unearthed Aaliyah CD... Sounds like a good time right? Not so much... As I sit here, 40-some odd miles away is where I'd rather be, at least for a few hours... See about a month ago I started communicating with this guy, super hot and strange as hell, good strange though... Like a violin playing, anime reading, football playing, fitness machine kind of weirdness... Brilliant, I know lol, that's why I like hanging with him... I don't know what it is but I feel like this kid wrote the book on bagging me, never have I been so comfy at a new friends place, he knows how to toe the line between being forward and honest, and it's the cutest thing when he bumps my leg when he walks past to sit down or falls asleep when I play in his hair or stroke his back...
Why am I spilling my guts to faceless internet people about this shit, truthfully I have not a fucking clue but I need to get this out of my head... I think I like him but as always, my timing sucks asses, we graduate in about 2 months and hopefully Grad School in the fall, it's like all of this awesome fell into my lap, literally and I only have a limited amount of time to enjoy it... Welp after break hopefully we can veg out and watch movies and talk about random stuff with total understanding... He really makes me want to hit the gym too, which is a good thing, just have to overcome my crushing disdain for sweating it out in public, oh well
Later =]

I am presently im'ing with my favorite young wordsmith... What good deed is this repayment for?  lol


Look Ma, No Hands...

Seriously son, these broads make me want to take a class 'cuz really? I NEED to know how to do this shit for no other reason than to say that I can in conversation... This is a workout I can get with lol... Their bodies are sick, no homo


I Love This...



Just got in from my schools annual black history month production... Smh so confusing, I'm still speechless, totally missed the message... I did hear this song for the first time and this shit goes =]


Sir Miles...

Mr. Hodges is amazing for this...

It makes you want to lay up with someone, just to listen to their heart beat while you slowly map out every beautiful contour with only your fingertips or tongue if you prefer =]


Hearts and Shit...

Happy Valentines Day all... Hope you had a stellar time, I did... Listening to 19, 21 and Back to Black... Amy and Adele got me through this one... Might make this a tradition... Goodnight Folks =]



I've gone 20 years without a romantic valentine... Let's see how much longer I can go


All Smiles...

Had one of the dopest nights
I don't completely hate people right now =]



Talking to this kid, getting a total lady boner right now lol



It was 70 degrees in VA today which is awesome seeing as the rest of the east coast is getting hammered with snow... The wind was kicking up something fierce though, it mussed my hair but it ended up looking very cute, resulting in an impromptu photo shoot on my bed...



Writhing in anguish on the subway tile
Is a crimson heap of flesh,
Next to a burlap sack of brown skin.
Field of porcelain knives
Cleave away at a woman,
Mocking her last futile effort
To become invisible.
See, she wasn't always this fracture
Of a person
There were days when her smile
Was a roaring fire in an igloo,
Capable of rendering
Even the iciest glares powerless
Until a few years ago when
Her world shattered
Too many stress points went unchecked
And she broke like a spine
under the weight of the world
In the beginning, it wasn't hard to focus
With the pinpricks of
Precisely placed insults
Figured a nap was the best band-aid back then
Positive affirmations for good measure
Didn't really notice how she was trying
To fill her time with family, music, writing
Anything but what she knew was gone
Could hear it thumping around
In the hollow of her ribcage,
Screaming, like all of her failures
Taunting her in unison
But the only one she ever really heard
Was him
Those words hit,
Like 12 G's of force on the human form
Rupturing her sanity.
Been a shell ever since.
So her nights are all spent like this
Trying to peel away the last remnants
Of existence
And when she succeeds


Make A Movie...

In a Chris Brown sort of mood... Feeling real Aziz and shit... Woe is me as well... I think I'm gonna jump ship soon, it's like all the hot black guys are the non traditional ones that have been ignored by black women so much that they started to look elsewhere... I'd consider a bad ass tatted and gauged up, nerdy, or artsy Asian dude, white dude, or spanish dude as long as I think they're hot... Still gonna hold a glimmer of hope for a black guy though... This post went left like hell anyway back to Chris, enjoy 'Make a movie', I just ignore the verses and vibe to the chorus... Also duct tape....Y-E-S



Seriously, this woman never ceases to amaze me... Her latest musical effort, 21, is one of the best things I've heard in all of my 20 years here... When it drops officially I plan on picking up a hard copy... The track "Set Fire To The Rain" is one of those songs that demands a video... Just listen and you can imagine the perfect treatment...

Studio version... At least until youtube removes it

Live version... The pianist looks like he's related to Cudder



Something I started last night... I think it's a short story, or my feeble attempt at some Abed style insight into the future ...

Shit, I guess 2 years was long enough to forget how to analyze intentions. Now I sit legs crossed, thumbs running laps around each other on my lap, while he sits in the chair next to me expecting some kind of answer and bracing for rejection.
He is really cute, almost painfully so and I have been peeking since we met. Ruggedly handsome this guy, beautiful brown eyes, unbelievably nice pink lips, beard growing back in and that tuft of curls he calls a mini afro.

"I want to kiss you" he said again, grasping my hand, jerking me out of my thoughts and right into his eyes. Before I could think the words that jumped off of my tongue were about as uncouth as could be given the situation, "Are you fucking serious"!? Not the smoothest thing to say with this sepia toned sunrise sitting beside me. Great here comes  more word vomit, "I'm sorry, it's just that you're very attractive and I'm, well, me"
Damn, he looks really cute trying to process the drabble that left my mouth. He stroked my palm and began to speak
"Well, I've been watching you for the past few months, and you're gorgeous, with a sense of style that has more personality than Sybill. You always fiddle with your hair even when it looks amazing, and every time you speak, nothing short of brilliance comes out, even when you're cursing". He reached to swipe a curl that landed across my frames when I lowered my head to hide the rouge I'm sure my cheeks were putting on. I freaked, walked to the window and climbed up on the sill.
"Are you serious right now Sir?" eyes tracing the grout lines on the tile. "As serious as a physics final hun" he shot back from his post across the room.
Deserting my perch and strutting toward this clearly delusional Demi-God, good a smile and chuckle, maybe he isn't completely nuts. Drawing courage from the silence, I go for the gusto with my approach and pull back at the last second, barely grazing the bow cupid left on this angelic visage. I draw back to my seat on the sill, his lids raise along with the rest of his form, stalking towards me, lengthy pins closing the void in half a breath. Forgot how intimidating it is to be faced with your desires.
The throaty command set my hands on vibrate, nerves always get the best of me in these instances.
"Once more, with feeling" I tell myself. After a few deep breaths I lean in and give it some force.
"Bad idea" he sang with a smirk. Arms twine around waist like tentacles, as the fervor in the kisses build to a crescendo of passion. Both panting, heads on shoulders, limbs forcing the fabric of our shirts toward the ceiling.
I close my eyes for a second to process and go weightless, suddenly sensing the floor beneath my feet I shift back to my legs. This kid is a damn ninja.
He purrs into my ear, "thank you love" and begins to smooth the hair at the base of my neck with those cashmere lips. Forgot how nice it feels to be draped by another body, broad shouldered and firm yet soft and warm. I could stay here forever.

Just some messing around, inspired by a picture and a classmate that reminded me of that picture



Let it be known that Tim Burton is one of my favorite creative people on the planet... From writing to sculpting, drawing, painting and direction he has the game on lock... He has directed many of my favorite movies as well as one of my all time favorite actors Mr. Johnny Depp... After stumbling on a blog post from last year about his exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art that I missed (smh) I decided to look at amazon's offerings under his name... I stumbled upon this epic of epic epicness (shouts to Scott Pilgrim) The Art of Tim Burton: Standard and Deluxe editions... For damn near $200 one can own a 434 page tome filled with artwork, movie stills and anecdotes by and about Burton... IF anyone can make this mine I would be forever indebted... I also came upon a book of poems and short stories that I plan on purchasing as soon as the sting of buying textbooks wears off... For now enjoy these excerpts

Original Edward Scissorhands illustration circa 1990

Stain Boy illustration from this book

Inside cover of The Art of Tim Burton



Video pilfered from

These guys are absolutely insane, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible... I love NY more than words but to risk life, limb and incarceration to rediscover the amazing bits that time plastered over is crazy... You can actually ride the 6 train to the station in the beginning but it doesn't stop so you only get a brief view, nothing like this and the canal street sewer is incredible, I walked down canal like everyday all summer and never knew what was beneath my feet... I also had no idea what a sight old Manhattan was from the top of the Williamsburg bridge, a stones throw from my summer job... And my heart aches for those taking up residence in the tunnels and I know countless others have been arrested and cast out of the only safe haven they could find in that beautifully disguised Jungle that is downtown Manhattan...



Here's a video of my baby-cakes singing with no pants... =] I miss Him



Finished season one on netflix and I'm officially hooked... Troy and Abed are my heroes when Shawn and Gus are on hiatus... Season two in two weeks yayay


New Year Convo's...

Last night my sister asked me why I don't have a boyfriend... I said because dudes are stupid, but that's only partially true... I mean it's not like I don't want to have someone to shoot the shit with and what not but it's not really that easy for me... The rest of my life is serendipitous so it's like I can't complain but the kid has no luck with the sexier sex... I don't go out nearly as much as I should to meet new folks but I don't have the time or energy for all of that... And I only seem to attract old ass dudes when I do step out... Some kid actually thought I was like 30 because I supposedly carry myself that way but I got carded at the damn tattoo parlor last week so I must not look it... I seriously feel like giving up sometimes but quitters never win... Shit if anyone knows a bad dude with LEGAL goals and ambitions send him my way, sexy comes in every skin tone so I'm not picky in that aspect.