Writhing in anguish on the subway tile
Is a crimson heap of flesh,
Next to a burlap sack of brown skin.
Field of porcelain knives
Cleave away at a woman,
Mocking her last futile effort
To become invisible.
See, she wasn't always this fracture
Of a person
There were days when her smile
Was a roaring fire in an igloo,
Capable of rendering
Even the iciest glares powerless
Until a few years ago when
Her world shattered
Too many stress points went unchecked
And she broke like a spine
under the weight of the world
In the beginning, it wasn't hard to focus
With the pinpricks of
Precisely placed insults
Figured a nap was the best band-aid back then
Positive affirmations for good measure
Didn't really notice how she was trying
To fill her time with family, music, writing
Anything but what she knew was gone
Could hear it thumping around
In the hollow of her ribcage,
Screaming, like all of her failures
Taunting her in unison
But the only one she ever really heard
Was him
Those words hit,
Like 12 G's of force on the human form
Rupturing her sanity.
Been a shell ever since.
So her nights are all spent like this
Trying to peel away the last remnants
Of existence
And when she succeeds
Finally
Silence
1/31/11
1/28/11
Make A Movie...
In a Chris Brown sort of mood... Feeling real Aziz and shit... Woe is me as well... I think I'm gonna jump ship soon, it's like all the hot black guys are the non traditional ones that have been ignored by black women so much that they started to look elsewhere... I'd consider a bad ass tatted and gauged up, nerdy, or artsy Asian dude, white dude, or spanish dude as long as I think they're hot... Still gonna hold a glimmer of hope for a black guy though... This post went left like hell anyway back to Chris, enjoy 'Make a movie', I just ignore the verses and vibe to the chorus... Also duct tape....Y-E-S
1/26/11
Adele...
Seriously, this woman never ceases to amaze me... Her latest musical effort, 21, is one of the best things I've heard in all of my 20 years here... When it drops officially I plan on picking up a hard copy... The track "Set Fire To The Rain" is one of those songs that demands a video... Just listen and you can imagine the perfect treatment...
Studio version... At least until youtube removes it
Live version... The pianist looks like he's related to Cudder
Studio version... At least until youtube removes it
Live version... The pianist looks like he's related to Cudder
1/20/11
Ramblings...
Something I started last night... I think it's a short story, or my feeble attempt at some Abed style insight into the future ...
Shit, I guess 2 years was long enough to forget how to analyze intentions. Now I sit legs crossed, thumbs running laps around each other on my lap, while he sits in the chair next to me expecting some kind of answer and bracing for rejection.
He is really cute, almost painfully so and I have been peeking since we met. Ruggedly handsome this guy, beautiful brown eyes, unbelievably nice pink lips, beard growing back in and that tuft of curls he calls a mini afro.
"I want to kiss you" he said again, grasping my hand, jerking me out of my thoughts and right into his eyes. Before I could think the words that jumped off of my tongue were about as uncouth as could be given the situation, "Are you fucking serious"!? Not the smoothest thing to say with this sepia toned sunrise sitting beside me. Great here comes more word vomit, "I'm sorry, it's just that you're very attractive and I'm, well, me"
Damn, he looks really cute trying to process the drabble that left my mouth. He stroked my palm and began to speak
"Well, I've been watching you for the past few months, and you're gorgeous, with a sense of style that has more personality than Sybill. You always fiddle with your hair even when it looks amazing, and every time you speak, nothing short of brilliance comes out, even when you're cursing". He reached to swipe a curl that landed across my frames when I lowered my head to hide the rouge I'm sure my cheeks were putting on. I freaked, walked to the window and climbed up on the sill.
"Are you serious right now Sir?" eyes tracing the grout lines on the tile. "As serious as a physics final hun" he shot back from his post across the room.
Deserting my perch and strutting toward this clearly delusional Demi-God, good a smile and chuckle, maybe he isn't completely nuts. Drawing courage from the silence, I go for the gusto with my approach and pull back at the last second, barely grazing the bow cupid left on this angelic visage. I draw back to my seat on the sill, his lids raise along with the rest of his form, stalking towards me, lengthy pins closing the void in half a breath. Forgot how intimidating it is to be faced with your desires.
"Again"
The throaty command set my hands on vibrate, nerves always get the best of me in these instances.
"Once more, with feeling" I tell myself. After a few deep breaths I lean in and give it some force.
"Bad idea" he sang with a smirk. Arms twine around waist like tentacles, as the fervor in the kisses build to a crescendo of passion. Both panting, heads on shoulders, limbs forcing the fabric of our shirts toward the ceiling.
I close my eyes for a second to process and go weightless, suddenly sensing the floor beneath my feet I shift back to my legs. This kid is a damn ninja.
He purrs into my ear, "thank you love" and begins to smooth the hair at the base of my neck with those cashmere lips. Forgot how nice it feels to be draped by another body, broad shouldered and firm yet soft and warm. I could stay here forever.
Just some messing around, inspired by a picture and a classmate that reminded me of that picture
Shit, I guess 2 years was long enough to forget how to analyze intentions. Now I sit legs crossed, thumbs running laps around each other on my lap, while he sits in the chair next to me expecting some kind of answer and bracing for rejection.
He is really cute, almost painfully so and I have been peeking since we met. Ruggedly handsome this guy, beautiful brown eyes, unbelievably nice pink lips, beard growing back in and that tuft of curls he calls a mini afro.
"I want to kiss you" he said again, grasping my hand, jerking me out of my thoughts and right into his eyes. Before I could think the words that jumped off of my tongue were about as uncouth as could be given the situation, "Are you fucking serious"!? Not the smoothest thing to say with this sepia toned sunrise sitting beside me. Great here comes more word vomit, "I'm sorry, it's just that you're very attractive and I'm, well, me"
Damn, he looks really cute trying to process the drabble that left my mouth. He stroked my palm and began to speak
"Well, I've been watching you for the past few months, and you're gorgeous, with a sense of style that has more personality than Sybill. You always fiddle with your hair even when it looks amazing, and every time you speak, nothing short of brilliance comes out, even when you're cursing". He reached to swipe a curl that landed across my frames when I lowered my head to hide the rouge I'm sure my cheeks were putting on. I freaked, walked to the window and climbed up on the sill.
"Are you serious right now Sir?" eyes tracing the grout lines on the tile. "As serious as a physics final hun" he shot back from his post across the room.
Deserting my perch and strutting toward this clearly delusional Demi-God, good a smile and chuckle, maybe he isn't completely nuts. Drawing courage from the silence, I go for the gusto with my approach and pull back at the last second, barely grazing the bow cupid left on this angelic visage. I draw back to my seat on the sill, his lids raise along with the rest of his form, stalking towards me, lengthy pins closing the void in half a breath. Forgot how intimidating it is to be faced with your desires.
"Again"
The throaty command set my hands on vibrate, nerves always get the best of me in these instances.
"Once more, with feeling" I tell myself. After a few deep breaths I lean in and give it some force.
"Bad idea" he sang with a smirk. Arms twine around waist like tentacles, as the fervor in the kisses build to a crescendo of passion. Both panting, heads on shoulders, limbs forcing the fabric of our shirts toward the ceiling.
I close my eyes for a second to process and go weightless, suddenly sensing the floor beneath my feet I shift back to my legs. This kid is a damn ninja.
He purrs into my ear, "thank you love" and begins to smooth the hair at the base of my neck with those cashmere lips. Forgot how nice it feels to be draped by another body, broad shouldered and firm yet soft and warm. I could stay here forever.
Just some messing around, inspired by a picture and a classmate that reminded me of that picture
1/15/11
Quirks...
Let it be known that Tim Burton is one of my favorite creative people on the planet... From writing to sculpting, drawing, painting and direction he has the game on lock... He has directed many of my favorite movies as well as one of my all time favorite actors Mr. Johnny Depp... After stumbling on a blog post from last year about his exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art that I missed (smh) I decided to look at amazon's offerings under his name... I stumbled upon this epic of epic epicness (shouts to Scott Pilgrim) The Art of Tim Burton: Standard and Deluxe editions... For damn near $200 one can own a 434 page tome filled with artwork, movie stills and anecdotes by and about Burton... IF anyone can make this mine I would be forever indebted... I also came upon a book of poems and short stories that I plan on purchasing as soon as the sting of buying textbooks wears off... For now enjoy these excerpts
Original Edward Scissorhands illustration circa 1990
Stain Boy illustration from this book
Inside cover of The Art of Tim Burton
Original Edward Scissorhands illustration circa 1990
Stain Boy illustration from this book
Inside cover of The Art of Tim Burton
1/10/11
Undercity...
Video pilfered from mobliving.com...
These guys are absolutely insane, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible... I love NY more than words but to risk life, limb and incarceration to rediscover the amazing bits that time plastered over is crazy... You can actually ride the 6 train to the station in the beginning but it doesn't stop so you only get a brief view, nothing like this and the canal street sewer is incredible, I walked down canal like everyday all summer and never knew what was beneath my feet... I also had no idea what a sight old Manhattan was from the top of the Williamsburg bridge, a stones throw from my summer job... And my heart aches for those taking up residence in the tunnels and I know countless others have been arrested and cast out of the only safe haven they could find in that beautifully disguised Jungle that is downtown Manhattan...
These guys are absolutely insane, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible... I love NY more than words but to risk life, limb and incarceration to rediscover the amazing bits that time plastered over is crazy... You can actually ride the 6 train to the station in the beginning but it doesn't stop so you only get a brief view, nothing like this and the canal street sewer is incredible, I walked down canal like everyday all summer and never knew what was beneath my feet... I also had no idea what a sight old Manhattan was from the top of the Williamsburg bridge, a stones throw from my summer job... And my heart aches for those taking up residence in the tunnels and I know countless others have been arrested and cast out of the only safe haven they could find in that beautifully disguised Jungle that is downtown Manhattan...
1/9/11
1/6/11
Community...
Finished season one on netflix and I'm officially hooked... Troy and Abed are my heroes when Shawn and Gus are on hiatus... Season two in two weeks yayay
1/2/11
New Year Convo's...
Last night my sister asked me why I don't have a boyfriend... I said because dudes are stupid, but that's only partially true... I mean it's not like I don't want to have someone to shoot the shit with and what not but it's not really that easy for me... The rest of my life is serendipitous so it's like I can't complain but the kid has no luck with the sexier sex... I don't go out nearly as much as I should to meet new folks but I don't have the time or energy for all of that... And I only seem to attract old ass dudes when I do step out... Some kid actually thought I was like 30 because I supposedly carry myself that way but I got carded at the damn tattoo parlor last week so I must not look it... I seriously feel like giving up sometimes but quitters never win... Shit if anyone knows a bad dude with LEGAL goals and ambitions send him my way, sexy comes in every skin tone so I'm not picky in that aspect.
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